Skies of Arcadia

Diary following moonstone retrieval (Jessica)

Right now might very well be the best definition of “irony” that I’ve encountered in my life. The time when I most feel like I need my dad here to guide me is the time that HE needs ME to come and rescue him.

And I swear, when I do, the first words I speak to him after that will be “I told you so”. I KNEW the Valuans wanted that Fina girl. I TOLD him that much, and that I was worried about her being here. If he had just put her on board the Albatross and taken off for somewhere else… then the Valuans might not even have been able to accuse us of piracy. As far as mom can tell, they were using the notion of routing pirates as an excuse to bully the islands into giving up the girl if they had her. It was just rotten luck that she happened to be sojourning on an island that was secretly a pirate port too. But they went ahead and took advantage of that too. The Albatross is at the bottom of Deep Sky, and dad and the crew are on their way to Valua to be publicly executed.

We’re going after them. We have to. There just isn’t another choice that can be taken by decent human beings. But … for a couple seconds … I was tempted to … not.

I’d had the whole thing planned out in my head since last night. After reporting on the mission itself, I was going to tell Dad that I accepted the idea that I’d have to marry a man for the sake of having kids – the price of the pedigree is producing progeny to perpetuate it – but that I was going to need him to pick my husband for me, and that whichever poor bastard got the short end of that stick was going to need to know that I’m a lesbian and I would never love him. “Care about” would be as far as it could get. Nothing even close to what mom and dad have for each other, or what’s expected of a married couple. I wrote a letter to Catrin, telling her how much I loved her and that I was finally going to tell my dad about it. I gave it to Hanna and told her to hand it off when I went to report to him. And then we found out the island’s been smashed and my dad isn’t there anymore.

And for a brief moment, I considered that maybe I could just take our little boat and go. Go somewhere else, where I wasn’t a captain’s kid and wasn’t fated to govern, where it wouldn’t matter whether I got married, or to whom. And that maybe someplace like that, I could have Catrin back. Which is stupid right there in and of itself – since I don’t know/remember why it ended to begin with, odds are it was something stupid I did or said and not that there wasn’t a future in it. But it was so very tempting for just a little while.

We set out tomorrow. They’re resupplying the ship now.

I have to get him back. I can’t do this without him.



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